In a complicated relationship with...

I woke up, try to read physics-FAILED

I walk around my room, then tried to repair my relationship with physics -FAILED

I was mad at physics, i did laundry instead, then i walk to physics notes, I was begging hard- plz dear lovely, handsome physics~u r my first love ( i lie- it is chemistry actually) PLZ3~..

Oh! maybe i approached physics in a wrong way, btw...it is physics, not biology, chemistry or English. I shouldn't approach him like I approach others~Gee...sorry dear physics. My mind has been synchronize to approach you like biology after the test last week. Em..i pondered. I should straight away do questions, then from that i know what i don't understand!

moral:This may be a physics story, but there is more beyond just physics~ *wink*

REFLECTION OF THE DAY

Oh...I still have physics test next week plus ESLS final report for investigation plus physics lab report plus bio lab report plus trial SACE but but but.....em, this blog kinda alluring~just a reflection will do fine....

First thing I should ask myself>>> What i have done to my Ramadhan? Do I appreciate and grab the every chance out of it? Again, I blame the atmosphere, the surrounding, which will never be favourable to the heart,which will keep us busy and occupied every seconds.

Second>> PATIENCE! I always have problem with you dear patience~ That is why I tried to keep quiet, less talking so I can ponder on my own weakness rather than people weakness. I should kill this perfectionist side of me which 70% is a history- that's my claim..never done the test statistics to reject or to accept~

Third>>> appreciate, i learn how to appreciate things more now- after I lost some of them.

" Gratitude is the best attitude". I appreciate being an AUSmaT student much much much more now. I learn skills and strong believe in Allah. I appreciate to be ex- MATRI though I was force at the very first place to enroll there. I appreciate all that I hate at first as there are actually good for me. It is true that not all things we hate are bad, some are good.

p/s: oh..i shudn't post this~

My Internal Assessment sucks what should I do madam?

And the time is up. You may write ur last sentence...(dazed)

That was it. I finished answering bio in super cool Great Hall this morning. I managed to check my answer for the first time in bio test history! (same case for chemistry) and MATH ..definitely! i managed to triple check my 'blank' answer LOLS...~. i pray that i will keep it up until SACE. Allah ease me, alhamdulillah. I do not have a speck of worry. i had done my part and let Him do the rest of it. Later after bio test, I happened to talk to a lecturer who does not teach me currently. She said powerful words which may be cliché but meaningful. She said - in Malay "Kita ada 3 benda usaha usaha usaha, doa doa doa n tawakal tawakal tawakal. Saya percaya walaupun manusia yang mark paper kamu, buat soalan dsb, tapi kuasa Allah lebih hebat dari semua tue".

I love that lecturer..she is the one in a million . I respect her. Oh, how I appreciate to have such a lecturer in INTEC! Quoted: "kalau Allah nk bagi kebaikan kt seseorang tue Allah akan bagi kefahaman deen". Semoga Allah bagi kebaikan kepada dia.Ameen.

Uhibbuki Fillah~

i hardly found friends who will remind me to Allah (i mean it here and now,in my own circle of friends)-quoted (anonymous,2010), or am i a friend who never remind her friends to Him? Friends are like perfumes, i wish i am a branded Body Shop perfume! So human i am, i have weaknesses. that is when i need a friend, (we all need 'em) a genuinely friend with the same aim to worship Allah, with the same fikr, with the same ghayah...all~

A friend once told me, she was with her friends, physically (hanging around, doing discussions, etc...), but deep inside the heart it ached for being with 'em.Huh? Err... i don't get the meaning in the first round.Then i asked, ''why''? She explained~

Yes! Her explanation do suit my situation sometimes. We may eat we them, laugh with them, hear their deadly funny story, lend ears to love stories...list goes on.But, they will never cry with u (if they will it may just be for the sake of a good relationship,no more than that), they will be no conversation that will remind the soul about the ultimate goal of living in this life, no takmil wa istiqmal (correct each other mistake)....lots~

Instead, the friendships will full with laugh and laugh and laugh, then have meals together, chattering about life (study?gossips?..*cough*), go sightseeing plan, shopping trip, take pictures (extra-unneeded pose), have fun plans, erm...sharing the pain of Ausmat sometimes...Is that what we live for? is that what a friend (or friends)for?

Thats a BIG different of a friendship for Allah's sake and friendship for fun and fulfilling the world's need *fullstop*

p/s: as we are talking about the beauty of the world, we tend forget about the beauty of the ultimate Jannah. When we are distract and allure into the colourful enjoyments of the small impermanent world, we will be weak, aimless, astray (im imagining a feral cat..~) and never see the ultimate life and goal- the hereafter.

Bad English -SOrryifThat makes not-so-smooth reading~

Ramadhan and Me~

Lima hari dalam bulan Ramadhan berlalu.Adakah kita memanfaatkan masa dengan betul atau kita sia2kan sahaja dengan amal dhoif? Alhamdulillah, ramadhan bertandang lagi buat kita semua. Ramadhan berikutnya, InsyaAllah, jika diizinkannya. Teringat pada arwah Jannah Sani. Rakan sekolah yang sama2 bakal 'fly'. Namun, Allah lebih sayangkan dia. Apa yang terjadi pada dia membuatkan hati2 di sekelilingnya berfikir dan bermuhasabah. Setinggi mana pun cita2 kita, serapi mana pun persiapan kita, Allah yang menentukan setiap saat hidup kita.Teringat juga pada arwah guru a.k.a 'aunty' yang 'caring' sangat, Ummi Halimaton. Mereka semua pergi tanpa mengetahui ramadhan tak akan bertandang lagi buat mereka. Justeru, wahai hati-hati yang bertaqwa, hargailah setiap saat ramadhan yang dilalui. Mungkin ungkapan 'Ramadhan terakhir buat kita' kedengaran clich'e , namun hati-hati yang terang dengan nurNya pasti dapat merasai ungkapan ini dengan penuh keinsafan dan keazaman untuk melalui Ramadhan dengan penuh keimanan.

Melangkah sahaja ke bulan ramadhan, hati ini rasa bagai ' big stone lifted away'. Erm, satu ujian telah pergi a.k.a ujian godaan syaitan. Namun awas!, ujian nafsu tetap melingkari. Saat Ramadhan inilah saat yang paling ditunggu2 semua. Bulan business yang paling menguntungkan!

Namun, ada juga yang sudah mengira hari untuk pakai baju raya dan makan kuih raya. Ish3...

Seperti tahun2 sebelum, target 30 juz al-qur'an tersemat dalam minda. Setiap hari update 'with siblings' walaupon jauh, konon berlumba siapa yang juara. Tapi, timbul satu perasaan pada hati, malunya pada Allah, kita berlumba 'time' Ramadhan sahaja. Biasa2 sehari semuka pon susah~(konon banyak assignment nk siapkan/'upcoming test' kena 'study'.....etc).

Bulan Ramadhan ini juga, target untuk solat awal dan solat tarawikh kt surau berkobar2. Erk....tapi tewas juga sehari. (Alasan balik lambat terus diberi....ouh,dah rugi sehari ).

Di pusat Islam INTEC, 'sharp' pukul satu, dah penuh surau. Semua baca Al-Qur'an. Bestnyer kalau setahun penuh bulan Ramadhan. Paling best, ada iftar -makan dalam talam~teringat MATRI. Alhamdulillah dapat merasa makan dalam talam ramai2, kt INTEC! (susahnya nk rasa bi'ah mcm kt MATRI....(erk...teringat kata2 tok, sapa suruh masuk situ, dapat UIA x nak).Tapi bagiku, kemampuan dan potensi yang ada nie patut dimaksimakan agar Islam dapat menjadi yang paling tinggi dan agung.'Islam bukan kt UIA je tok', jawabku penuh bermakna.

p/s: the tunggang langgang BM is much apologize~

Mending The Heart

Heart is fragile, which hv to be mend frequently. May Allah preserve our heart to always be near to Him~xoxo,luv.....