I was in the bus.I sat alone near the window.It was after my counselling test. I am not really satisfied with my performance. The negative charges surged in me. I just ate half plate of 18 dollars lunch. I was very grumpy though my stomach was full.My heart and mind was tormenting each other; sad and mad at the same time.
I looked at the outside of the bus.Traffic lights, pedestrians, cars, such a busy Friday. I still couldn't accept the fact what's done is done.Long pause..and my mind had loose the battle. My heart start to pound me with tonnes of answers to my problems. I think to much that is my problem. I worry to much that is my problem. I aim to high that is my uttermost terrible horrible problem.
God has granted my dua last time. I managed to study here and enrolled in the course of my choice. I get scholarship and I don't need to pay the money back.Why I become so ungrateful and become grumpy over a very small matter that would not determine either I will be going to Jannah or not?
I need to revise my aim, my ghayah in this life. I drifted away every now and then.Now, I am happy again.I know God will give whatever is the best for me. I trust all in Him.All that is mine is not really mind.Shame on me, I cried over of what's not even mine at all!