I can't write.So, I 'talk'.
It was weird when I was back in Malaysia last summer.I felt really weird.When people said, "Hey,you are one lucky girl to have a chance to study oversea!",I just responded,"Yeah..".But deep deep inside me I think I am no better than my friends who study locally.I miss a lot of experience.A lot of talent remain hidden and I remain normal,plain, geeky uni student.
Here,we couldn't even join a student association.Because those clubs always mean for PARTY and PUB CRAWL and BARBIE~fun,that's what they are at least 50% are about.
I feel so inferior when I met my friends who study 'Deeniyah'.ME?I couldn't even remember a single thing I learn in school.I know things but I just can't 'merge' in it.My Arabic knowledge disappear in thin air!That is soooooo sad~
And me,again,feel so inferior with my friends who still wear 'tudung labuh' which I am not anymore.It is just not me,I hate faking myself.And I hate the fact that people in my home country are not as open-minded as Aussie(yeah,you guys are the best mate!).People still judge the book by its cover.>> I don't get it why I can't wear slack pants and t-shirt to Masjid.Why I have to speak so quietly in front of 'religious men' and speak normally with plain, normal guy in the street.I don't get it why we have to treat people differently.
I think I choose to be a 'not-so-religiously-dressed-girl'. But I am still covering my 'aurah. I remembered my religious teacher once said to me that it is so annoyingly sad to see girls wearing stylish hijab cause she said hijab is about covering not showing.Well,we have a different opinion here missy.So sorry.(secondary school is the second 'bad experience' period after INTEC..uni is the best =)
(don't get me wrong my high school mates ^^ )
Inferiority remain so complex again.With whole bunch of things going around,I'm just a plain girl who need to study hard to maintain the scholarship and getting a degree here.People said we are clever students?Wrong, we are not. We don't even care about what's going on in Malaysia(some ppl) .So what's the point being academically clever.But I still care though.Love you guys. ^^
p/s: I don't really make sense I know..lol
Party- dance to the music?I never went to any so I don't know.haha
Pub Crawl- going to club?clubbing?...maybe.haha