Inferiority Complex!

I can't write.So, I 'talk'.

It was weird when I was back in Malaysia last summer.I felt really weird.When people said, "Hey,you are one lucky girl to have a chance to study oversea!",I just responded,"Yeah..".But deep deep inside me I think I am no better than my friends who study locally.I miss a lot of experience.A lot of talent remain hidden and I remain normal,plain, geeky uni student.

Here,we couldn't even join a student association.Because those clubs always mean for PARTY and PUB CRAWL and BARBIE~fun,that's what they are at least 50% are about.

I feel so inferior when I met my friends who study 'Deeniyah'.ME?I couldn't even remember a single thing I learn  in school.I know things but I just can't 'merge' in it.My Arabic knowledge disappear in thin air!That is soooooo sad~

And me,again,feel so inferior with my friends who still wear 'tudung labuh' which I am not anymore.It is just not me,I hate faking myself.And I hate the fact that people in my home country are not as open-minded as Aussie(yeah,you guys are the best mate!).People still judge the book by its cover.>> I don't get it why I can't wear slack pants and t-shirt to Masjid.Why I have to speak so quietly in front of 'religious men' and speak normally with plain, normal guy in the street.I don't get it why we have to treat people differently.

I think I choose to be a 'not-so-religiously-dressed-girl'. But I am still covering my 'aurah. I remembered my religious teacher once said to me that it is so annoyingly sad to see girls wearing stylish hijab cause she said hijab is about covering not showing.Well,we have a different opinion here missy.So sorry.(secondary school is the second 'bad experience' period after INTEC..uni is the best =)
(don't get me wrong my high school mates ^^ )

Inferiority remain so complex again.With whole bunch of things going around,I'm just a plain girl who need to study hard to maintain the scholarship and getting a degree here.People said we are clever students?Wrong, we are not. We don't even care about what's going on in Malaysia(some ppl) .So what's the point being academically clever.But I still care though.Love you guys. ^^

p/s: I don't really make sense I know..lol

Note:
Barbie-barbecue
Party- dance to the music?I never went to any so I don't know.haha
Pub Crawl- going to club?clubbing?...maybe.haha

Eating Disorder

It has come to the time where everybody will eat and eat and eat.yeap!our part time job~when the locals were busy with their part time work as barista, cashier,pharmacy assistant, cook and baby sitter,we sit tight in our house with heater on on the colder night.We sit tight with our favourite laksa,tomyam or 'kanji' that we cook ourselves and STUDY!~

Yeap, the contract with JPA said that we must not work while study as we are paid to study~fine fine...and me, i did study for an hour or two until my back ache and i feel like eating AGAIN~though i'm full, i  wish i have bigger 'compartment' and rapid food absorption to eat again!

This is the story when tests and quizzes and assignments due strictly next week.I can be bloated to death as oppose of starve to death.So that I am aware that this is a good life but this life isn't permanent.This life isn't meant for this life!And this life is like a movie where it ended when it feels like it's just started.But the story of test and quiz is an episode where the ending is already determined.Known.but haven't being reveal.and yup>>>>>>>>>>i gotta continue studying ^^ cheers for reading my 'merepeking'  and see ya!